Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Bipolar Sunday (Late)

I've decided to try and create posts on particular days with particular themes. I had hoped to complete an article/post on Bipolar Depression every Sunday. Sunday, December 24, 2006 will be a memorable day.

On Saturday, I was consumed with baking four dozen honey corn muffins. (By the way, I bake from scratch.) On Sunday morning, I awoke exhausted and proceeded to prepare an apple square pie (new recipe) and my "famous" raisin rice pudding (triple batch). Oh, yes, throw in a quick trip to Wal-Greens for 3 last minute gifts, eggs, and whipped cream for the pie.

It was hectic here and as the time for the annual Harris Christmas Eve Party (30+ consecutive years) drew close -- all hell broke loose. There was not enough time to prepare the promised jicama and cucumber salad (a treat I learned to make in Mexico). I exploded.

A large part of my difficulty with my brain malfunction; besides anxiety, depression, hypomania, and what has been a non-healthy bit of agoraphobia, has been adverse reactions to unanticipated change. The planned salad, my obsessive need to arrive at the party on time, and a little bit of sniping with my companion resulted in an unfortunate argument.

My dread of Christmas this year was complicated by our argument. I missed having my expatriate brother, Dad, and Gary at the family gathering. Even though the party was enjoyable -- the earlier "fight" still loomed over me. It continued when we left the party and arrived home.

Christmas Day -- I stayed home and did not go to my partner's family Christmas Party.

So much for the new mood stabilizer. It will probably get me back on an even keel once the holidays are over.

Bipolar Depression really sucks sometimes.


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