Saturday, January 13, 2007

We All Have Our Ups & Downs

Changing moods sucks!

My Bipolar friends at Bipolar Planet understand how exhausting and frustrating it is to cycle between mania and depression. Some of those folks have extraordinary highs and excruciating lows. We all hope for some semblance of a stabilized mood.

Unfortunately, talk therapy alone will not help. Medication seems to always be indicated. We all have taken various medications, stopped some, and added more over a period of time. The "good" psychiatrists will take the time to find what works for each individual.

The worst thing that seem to continue to happen is that each of us also have particular "triggers" that can upset what balance we may have achieved. For about 8 weeks I had felt that my mood swings had stabilized. Then came Christmas and everything seemed to go to hell. Our annual family Christmas Eve party was not the same this year. We tried a new "format" and a new location. But, ... Dad and Gary were not with us....

Beginning the new year seemed equally traumatic. I have been procrastinating about writing another letter demanding the documents I had requested from my condo association in late October. By not sending me those papers the condo association is clearly in violation of Michigan law. The individuals claiming to represent the condo board have been negligent and have incompetently conducted the association's business. Notice -- I am not using the qualifiers "seems to" or "may be". I stand on solid ground with my statements.

The particular trigger with all of the condo shit is a deep desire to avoid confrontations. Even as I served my union, I never got in a fight during contract negotiations. I used reason and logic in the bargaining process. I constantly requested that the "other side" do the right thing. At heart I am a kind and peaceful person. I do have other more frightening triggers that, thank God, hardly ever appear.

So, in only 13 days I have found myself cycling between hypomania and mild depression quite frequently. And, as I always say, "This bipolar coaster ride sucks."

Take care, everyone, and fasten those freaking seatbelts. Its gonna be a bitch'n bumpy ride.



Bleeding Heart said...

I could so relate...Every time I think I could beat this be honest...It cannot be beat! It really can't.

We need medication, we need therapy and shit we need all the help we could get in order to be stable...

I TRIED so hard to control myself without medication and JUST psychotherapy alone and NOPE it didn't work!

It is an illness(Whatever "one" wants to call it) that is so hard to manage, so hard to control, so hard to deal with, so hard to beat, and so hard to just live with!

Even on medication and therapy - we fall - we escalate -we end up on a roller coaster ride -

I hate it! I really do! Every time I try to find good in Bipolar (The Advantages)...I end up hating it more!

I am so depressed right now Totally Mixed States - And yes, Like you since the Holidays and now that it is January I sunk deep.

Ol' Lady said...

I don't like the roller coaster...I want off...if you figure it out please share :)