Tuesday, April 24, 2007

R Minus 1

Communications blackout -- 24 April -- 02:25 Hours

We are set to begin mission.

ZERO HOUR -- Final Countdown....

Monday, April 23, 2007

The Innocence Project

I never was enthusiastic about the death penalty but, I must admit that I wasn't very sad when the military dropped bombs near the house where the once #1 terrorist in Iraq was staying. Our military literally dropped the roof on him -- kinda like being stoned. You know, like what those conservative Islamists do to criminals and innocent women who have been rapped.

Now that the Innocence Project has helped 200 innocent folks get released from prison -- our entire justice system and the punishments prescribed need to examined and revised.


Wrong, Immoral, and Irresponsible

In the words of a soldier...........

Thank you for your service, John.

Ban Mondays

Alleged banned commercial blah blah blah.

I have no financial interest in the product blah blah blah

I am not promoting the product (I might not use it,



Sunday, April 22, 2007

I Choose to Dance

Will you join me?


Too Much

Too often we're defined by what others consider to be "too much".
We're too smart, too dumb, too glum.
He's too cute, too caring, too overbearing.
She's too sexy, too cautious, too obnoxious.
And, they're just simply out of touch!

I shall define who I am, who I was, and who I want to be.

I want to change, to stay the same, and I won't be placed within your frame.

I choose.

And, that's the way it must be.



Alberto Gonzales must go! He is either totally incompetent or a village somewhere is missing its idiot.

Pitiful, just PPPPiittteeeful!

Just who is running the Justice Department?

A Hero

I had the privilege of meeting and talking with Representative Barney Frank (D-MA) a little over a decade ago. We didn't just have a meet and greet -- it was a real conversation resulting in Mr. Frank's offer of assistance with an "incident" that could have ended my career. He was sincere with his offer of help and to this day I am grateful. In fact, I was re-energized and determined to stay active in my local, state, and national professional associations. I was determined to not let narrow minded neanderthals ruin my life.

I have looked back at that National Education Association Gay and Lesbian Caucus dinner knowing that our group was breaking new ground within our union and outside of it. Barney Frank was our invited guest and speaker. After the dinner, I was pulled into a group of folks chatting with Representative Frank and asked to share the story of "the incident". His genuine concern touched me in a way that is hard to describe. This shy guy from Michigan had the ear of a real-honest-to-God politician with a big heart.

The last several years have given me the opportunity to see Rep. Frank as a sincere politician that is willing and able to debate issues with honesty and civility. He is also a stickler for following parliamentary procedure. A few months back, I posted a YouTube of Mr. Frank rebuking a rather dumb and obnoxious congressman for violating parliamentary rules and violating the rules of decorum.

While reading my favorite blogs I came across another "Barney in Action" YouTube video. Listen to the point he makes. Ask yourself if the Republican stunts in Congress serve the country or just the Republican Party and their campaign contributers?

Thanks, again, Mr. Frank.


Saturday, April 21, 2007

Republican Spin

Aside from the other night when I carelessly took my "morning" medications before going to bed the week has been great. One recent medication side effect has ended after a kick in the butt by my psychiatrist. He once told me to NOT take my second dose of Wellbutrin at night. He reminded me last Saturday. So, it's one AM and one before 4:00 PM.

The other side effects of my medication cocktail are still tolerable as long as I keep generating jokes about them. Preparing to squirt Presto-Whip on desserts is much easier now. I have no problems with the preparation directions "Shake well before using". And, eating soup is still comical.

Now to the subject of this post. The murderer of the Virginia Tech students and faculty was not Bipolar! Whatever the diagnosis the press is reporting about him should not include any mention of Bipolar Disorder. Can anyone for one minute believe that a manic episode would last through the waiting period needed to purchase 2 guns? The murders were premeditated. Many bipolar folks have trouble following through with most projects, let alone all the planning that took place for this massacre.

And, now, instead of a review of our gun laws (What hunter needs an assault rifle?), we have the Republicans spinning away at another issue -- our Mental Health system. Nothing happened with the issue of gun control following the Columbine murders and nothing will happen after this killing spree.

If anyone follows through with any action on the subject of mental health, I'd be surprised. Yes, the young Representative Kennedy's mental health insurance parity bill will have a better chance of passing through the House and the Senate. Does anyone believe that anything more will happen?

The drug industry will gain greater profits as doctors scramble to address the needs of their patients. The amateur general practitioners may prescribe their own versions of a psychiatric cocktail and probably adopt a "one size fits all" treatment plan. That will be a disaster for the patient needing real psychiatrists to monitor and tweak the medications that may bring relief and stability to the folks living with Bipolar Disorder. Will those "I can fix anything" doctors remember "First, do no harm ..."?

I have one more point/idea. I think that it may be beneficial for doctors to read some of the posts/diaries found in the Bipolar Planet web-ring. They may gain some understanding of our frustrations with medications and the whole damn roller coaster ride. What better source of first-hand information is there?


My YouTube of the Week

The Zimmers --- "My Generation"


Friday, April 20, 2007

It Has Hit The Fan

Here we go!!!


R Minus 5

Final preparations completed. Communications blackout imminent.

Your Moment of Zen


Thursday, April 19, 2007

Another Republican Scandal

We really ought to limit political campaign funding to "constituent only". This shit is getting out of hand.


You Just Can't Make This Shit Up

John McCain has revealed "PLAN B".

Be afraid, be very afraid!

Just Like 1984

I say tomato ......... You say _________.


Part of the Plan

On Monday, the consequences of one event, one innocuous moment helped us to overcome an obstacle. Now we have the opportunity to end our spendthrift ways of the past and start all over again.

A new life is about to begin .........

Gloria Estefan --- Coming Out of the Dark

Just a Question

Did we all get our taxes done on time?

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Uncle Sam Thursday

Gee, I hate to break it to you, young fellers, it may be coming back soon!

Get ready to turn your head and cough.........


Sacred Ground

I caught just a minute of President George W. Bush's interview when he visited the campus where those tragic murders occurred. He made a statement that the university's campus was now sacred ground. What does that mean?

Does he mean that the shedding of the blood of innocent students and faculty somehow creates a sacred place? Does the murder of innocent people in one location make that place sacred?

If so, the former Governor George W. Bush may be responsible for helping to make the execution chambers in the State of Texas -- sacred ground. Only God and forensic scientists will know which innocent men and women were murdered by the State.

And, oh yes, what about the murders in Iraq? Does the creation of sacred ground apply to the deaths of non-Christianists?



I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ---Mother Theresa

It seems that there were too many times when I gave up on life and didn't much care about the consequences of suicide. I rejected my calling as a minister. I disregarded what pain and suffering that my actions may inflict upon my family and students. I no longer cared and resigned myself to whatever lesser "Glory" or Hell where God would decide to place me.

My spiritual journey was once guided by sayings such as "God's gift to me is who I am. My gift to God is who I become." That's a great thought, however, it suggests a quid pro quo arrangement with the Divine that I reject. "My God" has given me a free will to determine the paths I walk upon in life.

Some Christian religions believe in a life that has been predetermined. What kind of life is that? What is the use of living a life that has been already been decided? What would be the point? Let me off at the next stop! I want to explore and learn the consequences of my decisions. Mind you, I don't exactly believe that God just did His creation thing and stepped back to watch the show. I believe in "inspiration" and modern day prophesy and guidance.

Long ago, my maternal grandmother confronted me about my decision to worship with folks of a faith that was not the one which had guided the lives of what then had been 5 generations of Restorationists. In her words, "You will only find salvation and enter into heaven if you join
The Church." Granny latter denied ever having told me that "belief". However, just seven years afterwards I decided to be baptized, confirmed, and become a 6th generation "Saint". (Maybe she had had a manic moment?)

I rejected the notion that only members of our church would go to heaven. Even at a young age, I did not believe in an unfair despotic God. What about all the good people that also follow the teachings of Christ? If God was so particular as to whom He would gift a place in Glory --- I wanted nothing to do with Him and a church that believed in such authoritarianism. We are not the "The One True Church" and no one has a monopoly on the Truth.

My spiritual journey includes a belief that God continues to reveal His Truths. I have and probably will always believe that our understanding of His Plan is limited by prejudices and scriptural beliefs that have lingered too long. I believe that there is more wisdom to be given and discerned. One example is the Divine Calling of women to be members of our priesthood.

There were outrageous responses to that "revelation" brought to us through the Prophet and President of the Church. New schisms of fundamentalist churches were created. Even in our little town of Port Huron a disaffected group of folks created a "Restored" Church. What a heck of a misnomer. They should have called themselves "The Stuck in the Mud Dinosauresque Disciples of Christ in the Latter Days".

I prayed for guidance and for my own confirmation in that newest Revelation. They prayed to God for His aid in deciding what to do about this heresy brought to the church by a "fallen prophet". I could not believe that those whom I trusted and from whom I had sought guidance would take such a stand.

Later, when I "officially" came out of the closet, many of those same folk spread the news quickly, condemned me, and condemned the men responsible for forwarding "my call" to another office in the priesthood to the "higher" church leader. The wanted me and the others defrocked. Go figure!

I must admit that today I am a "lapsed" member of the church. I have retained my membership and the authority of my priesthood office. My absence from the "Community" is mostly due to the unchanged official view that I should be defrocked if I "practice" my homosexuality. Practice? Folks, I don't need any more practice. I know what to do and there isn't much more for me to discover and perfect.

BTW -- God has blessed me with an abiding faith, a loving family, and a loving companion. Who in heaven's name should be granted the audacity and the authority to judge and condemn me? My God created me and loves me. I wouldn't ever pray again for this "burden" to be taken from my life.

God trusts me to live and be the man whom He created. And, I wouldn't have it any other way.


Tuesday, April 17, 2007

The Sum of Our Fears

It wasn't hypomania. It wasn't depression. It wasn't an episode of rapid cycling. And, I am convinced that my Bipolar Disorder was not the culprit. This evening, I cried. I was nearly sobbing and it had to be fear and anxiety.


I was trolling YouTube. I often have some thought, song, or theme that I take time to research. And, tonight, I was "inspired" to find out what YouTube had to offer with a search for "The Sum of Us". It is a movie that I watched about ten years ago.

I'm not here to give a summary or a critique of the screen adaptation of the play by David Stevens. I was touched by the back story that occurs in flashback. The first time I watched the film on VHS, I sobbed as that other story line reached its climax. It haunts me to this day.

I can't even find the words to adequately explain why it touched me so deeply. What I can tell you is that after watching that movie (starring Russell Crowe) I had some serious talks with my family. It is probably time to remind them of what was said.

Similarly, at the time of the Terri Shiavo controversy our family had met for a party and we talked about the disgusting Christianists and Politicians that used one family's personal tragedy to impose their "deeply held beliefs" upon that family. We told each other, in no uncertain terms, that we would never want to be kept alive by any artificial means. We want ours deaths to be on our terms and with dignity. Our family was united on that topic and on our wishes to be cremated.

What I need to do is once again reiterate our (Billy's and my) request that we never be separated in this life. We'll let the Lord decide about the next.

Please watch this clip from the movie and you may understand my fears and tears.


To Put An End to War

John Denver -- "Last Night I Had the Strangest Dream"

A blast from our past......

We must do more than dream....


From the Liberal Media. the New Majority, and Bloggers

Dear Mr. President:

Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take

I'll be watching you



I have always been a technology geek and what is called an "early adopter". I am careful about what I do buy in keeping abreast of the latest and the greatest. I went with VHS and avoided the other machine (What was that called?).

With computers, I started with the Vic-20, then onto an Apple, IBM, Hewlett Packard, and now Dells. I have always gotten around to the latest OS from Microsoft. In fact, I was a beta-tester for Windows '95. I am not sure that I want to get Vista....

It did take me a few years to getting around to blogging. It started as therapy and now I find it a great outlet for my sarcastic humor, musing about my life, and for some political activism. After joining a web-ring, I "came out" of the "mental" closet and have blogged about living with Bipolar Depression Type II.

I am not a regular diarist about my daily life and my ups and downs. Most of my Bipolar Planet friends do share their day to day lives. They struggle with medications, insomnia, and the challenges to their sanity. We all understand the cycles, the quest for stability, and the stressors that disrupt our stability.

We all have some sort of psychiatric cocktail of medications to help us cope with the "muggles", as our South African friend calls the folks without our particular gifts and self-awareness. We look to each other for support. We care. We understand.

Anyway, by now those that stubble upon my not-so-humble rants, will see that I like WIDGETS. Please forgive this fascination, however, I plan to from time to time add another, subtract some, and try to avoid multiplying them and slowing the whole sum of my blog's download.

I'm having fun. Isn't that an important part of the journey? You bet your widget!


Monday, April 16, 2007

Ann Coulter and Cleary University

As I read through one of my favorite blogs (Crooks and Liars) I came across "A Call to Action" regarding Ann Coulter's visits to a Michigan university. Cleary University will be the venue (October's Founders Day) for Coulter's hate-filled rants. Her $30K fee is being paid for by the Livingston Economic Club.

I am way past embarrassment that a Michigan university would allow her to speak to their students and guests.

After the Imus Speech Crash, it really is past-time that the Hate Wing of the Republican Party be challenged for their reprehensible rhetoric. O'Reilly, Limbaugh, and Coulter must be held accountable for the vicious attacks upon every individual and group that does not meet their "standards".

Will we ever have a return to civility?

I just sent this email to the Cleary University president:

Dear President Sullivan:

I find it disturbing that your commitment "to the enhancement of society" includes the use of your fine institution as a venue for Ann Coulter to spew her hate-filled message. I find Ms. Coulter's "comedy" to be as reprehensible as Don Imus's remarks about the Rutger's Women's Basketball team. Have you read her books or watched her on television?

I do believe in the freedom of speech, however, to willingly allow your university's good name to be associated with Ann Coulter may be a tragic mistake. You may find that her remarks about minorities, gays, and anyone that doesn't share her views may be quite harmful to your students. I would not be surprised if many of them choose not to attend.
You may have a policy allowing outside groups to use your facilities. Do you have the right to refuse a group when asked to use your facilities? I hope you do and will ask the LEC to find another venue.

I am a concerned Michigander and a retired teacher. I must seriously question your judgement about this issue. I am embarrassed that a university in Michigan would host her and allow her hate-speech.


J. Lee Harris

Please, God, send another rock to end this age of hate mongering dinosaurs!


Ban Mondays

The following Australian commercial may have been shown on American television. Thus, it may not be banned.

Warning: You may LYAO


Sunday, April 15, 2007

Afraid to Tell

The most disturbing movie that I watched as a kid was "in the Snake Pit". To this day I still shudder when I remember the various scenes that occur in the insane asylum (mental hellhole). I am not sure if I could ever view the DVD or read the novel by Mary Jane Ward.

The plot line involving someone waking up in an insane asylum and not remembering how she/he got there, as in the novel and 1946 movie adaptation, has been used in television and other media. Each time I view one of these films or TV shows, I cringe and sometimes walk away. I haven't understood exactly why I've had this reaction until today.

It was that classic movie and perhaps my own repressed fears that I would be put away in a hospital somewhere that provoke a deep anxiety.

In recent years I distinctly remember this plot line used in both Smallville and Star Trek: The Next Generation. And, each time, I watched the original airing of the show but, could not watch the re-run. I never could tell anyone how I felt about the use of this story line.

I have had family members in previous generations spend a week or two in what was the local hospital's "3 East" Ward. It seemed, like most everything else in this small town, that we all understood the meaning of "3 East". Most folks also knew what it meant when we heard that someone was "sent to Lapeer" -- the region's mental hospital/asylum had once been located in Lapeer, Michigan.

In my early years, I did not have an understanding of insanity and mental illness. That movie was enough to skew whatever I did learn or know. I certainly did not want any first hand knowledge.

Looking back, I did "live with" Bipolar Depression Type II from as early as I can remember. I remember one time, after being cruelly teased about my enuresis, that I went to my room and while crying pledged to myself that, if it continued, I would kill myself. Could I ever tell any one about how I felt? Unfortunately, no. Did the fear of being "committed" begin then? I don't know.

I do know that when I was in middle school I came home from school one day and asked Mom if I could read her copy of the book "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (but Were Afraid to Ask). She said "Yes." I guess the book was informative but I only remember things from the chapter about homosexuality.

It was a disease.

It was a mental illness.

We now know that various medical societies have, since the late Seventies, stated that homosexuality is not a disease/mental illness. (When the knuckle draggers finally accept "science", the world will be a better place to live.)

I knew before and after reading the book that I was a homo/fag/queer. My hypomanic imagination pictured me being "sent to Lapeer", at best, or being "thrown out of the house", at worst. I remember the day in middle school when a kid I knew came to school with wildly colored hair. I never saw him in school after that day. Would that have happened to me? I'll never know.

Reading that damn book planted more seeds of shame, helplessness, and despair. Hell, no wonder the attempts, by that Christianist witch of a teacher, to get me fired sent me into deep "Snake Pit" depressions. The ultimate stressor -- the "mind killer" -- is a threat to my livelihood, my integrity, and reputation. If ever I were to feel malice -- Diane would be my target.

Fortunately, all I feel for her is pity. Somewhere, somehow, her life must have been tragically bruised and she could not or chose not to love her neighbor as herself. Could it be that she does not love herself? Did Something Happen To Her When She Was Young? How could the love of Jesus be in the heart of anyone that seeks to destroy the life of another?

Once again, I know I need to pray for her and for myself. I have yet to forgive her. And, that is not what I've been taught to do....... (Saint Jude, Pray for Diane and me.....)

So far, it seems that I have escaped being placed in a hospital mental ward. My Bipolar Type I webring friends know all about that experience. Fortunately, I have never had a severe manic or depressive episode sending me to the hospital (knock on wood). I pray that I will never be in any sort of a "Snake Pit".


Saturday, April 14, 2007

Rudy Guliani Comes A ' Court'n

Does Rudy really believe he can win the hearts and minds of the Christianists and the Republican Right?

BTW -- I have only worn drag twice in my 51 years. Once as a performer in a backyard talent show for the neighborhood (age 8) and once in a Halloween costume at a friend's party (age 10).

And, FYI -- I rather like being a MAN.


R Minus 11

The team is anxious. We continue to offload our present cargo. One member of the team had to make an appointment for minor surgery. All other team members have medical clearance. We are nearly ready.

Final countdown begins tomorrow...


I Thank You!

Forgive me for boring anyone and bragging about my family, again. What can I really say about my "first teachers" when I truly appreciate their hard work in raising 5 children? The lessons that we learned at home have made us a caring, confident, and cogent coterie.

This is not to say that we haven't had any peccant moments. Don't we all?

In light of the current political climate in the government of our Republic, you may understand my distress about the lack of civility and honesty. Both Democrats and Republicans have neglected to serve the interests of the people. What's wrong with these politicians?

The first 100 days of this new Democratic Majority in Congress have sparked a glimmer of hope. Though the Republican Party continues to spin and obfuscate the truth, they are not totally beyond redemption. Will truth prevail?

I hate "talking points"!! The obsessive repetition of them irks me to no end. Whatever happened to truthful and honest debate? Are Democrats and Republicans incapable and/or afraid of defending their positions on the issues? Is this a failing of their respective educational experiences? Or, are they all forced to toe the party line in fear of not being given support for reelection and not being given a share of the pork barrel spending?

Buying loyalty or blindly giving loyalty is reprehensible. Taking home some bacon bits to one's constituents is not enough. Recently my congressional representative, Candice Miller of Michigan's 10th District, donned a UPS uniform and toured our district announcing and taking credit for the monies given to local entities by the 109th Republican controlled Congress. Her loyalty to the Shrub and her lockstep support of the Republican Agenda "earned" her those prizes.

Candy's brown shirted delivery truck tour was a disgusting display of politicizing needed support for projects in our district. Her arrogance and insincerity were outrageous. Pitiful, just pit-tee-full.

Anyway, my parents taught me honesty. They insisted upon polite and respectful discourse. My dad once scolded me for referring to one of his friends by his first name. "That's Mr. Johnson! When you speak with him you will call him Mr. Johnson!"

Sometimes it seems that I am overly polite, but I am not. For example, in a restaurant I thank the wait staff for bringing me my meal, refilling my water, asking me if I need anything more, suggesting dessert, and presenting the check. My dad wouldn't have it any other way.

At Ted's Coney Island, one of Dad's favorite stops, Dad would say, "I thank you." (emphasis and upward inflection on the YOU) He would also ask the waitresses if they needed a pen. Dad's quirky purchase and distribution of pens (with his name and address) made him happy. The waitresses just loved him, too.

While in high school I never joined a debate club. My experiences in civics and history classes did equip me with the ability to understand and "argue" both sides of an issue. We were taught to express and defend our points of view without political rhetoric and the shameful repetition of bullshit. We learned civility.

Whatever happened to civility?


1. formal or perfunctory politeness [ant: incivility]
2. the act of showing regard for others [syn: politeness]

WordNet® 3.0, © 2006 by Princeton University.


Friday, April 13, 2007

Just for Fun

H/T to Weird Cake

You Are From the Moon

You can vibe with the steady rhythms of the Moon.
You're in touch with your emotions and intuition.
You possess a great, unmatched imagination - and an infinite memory.
Ultra-sensitive, you feel at home anywhere (or with anyone).
A total healer, you light the way in the dark for many.


Lest We Forget


Lest We Forget


Lest We Forget


Your Moment of Zen

Kurt Vonnegut RIP


Thursday, April 12, 2007


On the 7th of April, I posted a dedication to my partner. I cannot believe that I got our anniversary information wrong, again. I seem to do this every year....

On June 26, we will have been together for 18 years.

We've lived in this @#$%&*@ condo for 17 years.



Some People Change

Montgomery Gentry's "Some People Change"


Uncle Sam Thursdays #9

Moving On

With my withdrawal from the membership rolls of the Democratic Party, my interest in continuing a political watchblog has ended. Watching the lockstep, GOP loyal, and political hack Representative Candice Miller (R-MI) was interesting, but it is time to move on.

In my opinion she did very little to serve the people in Michigan's 10th Congressional District. Mrs. Miller served only the interests of her party. Her every move seemed calculated and cold. We deserve better.

Yes, she brought home some pork from various Republican spending bills in what was a Republican controlled Congress. It seemed though that most of the pork projects went to her old Macomb County "friends". I hope that Candy will retire from politics completely when her current congressional term ends. We deserve better.

And, I am still peeved that the 10th District was redrawn to assure her election. I am still peeved about her Dick Cheney moment on the floor of the House of Representatives. We deserve better.

I do not mind living in Republican land, but the redistricting was perverted to favor Republican voters in every county represented. We deserve better.

People versus Politics? The people are being screwed. It is time for change because we deserve better.


Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Arrogant Dumbbell

Michigan's Attorney General Mike Cox plans to build a personal gym while the State faces a financial disaster.

Arrogant Republican Jerk!


You Just Can't Make This Stuff Up

Just when we thought that the Republican Party were making themselves irrelevant and headed for their demise in the '08 Presidential Election -- Vice President Dick Cheney receives an invitation to be the commencement speaker at Brigham Young University. And, guess what -- his appearance is already being protested by students and faculty.

At Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah there are students that are unhappy with a man of dubious character. Go figure!

And, in the State of Utah the Republican Party is loosing support and when recently polled favored a Democratic candidate over a Republican.

I have always respected the honesty and integrity of my Mormon cousins. Our "Community" denounced many of the practices of their church during our period of Reorganization with Joseph Smith III as our President. One of our Prophet / Presidents once described the LDS Church as being a grand machine that had numerous moving parts and mechanisms but produced nothing... That may be harsh, but I still believe in the sincerity of their faithful.

I applaud the veracity of the students and faculty at BYU. They know in their hearts that we have leaders that have not followed the teachings of Jesus Christ. Keep it up, cousins, and tell the world how you feel about Dick and Shrub!

"The End is Coming" placard walkers may want to change their signs to read "The End is Here" -- for the Republican Party.




How strange it is to be anxious and excited all at the same time! I have been getting out of the house nearly every day thus minimizing my anxiety about leaving the house. The pDoc will be pleased with this new development. I am able to deal with my fears by having been tanning in a salon at Port Huron's only Mall.

Billy and I have been walking the Mall before and after our daily tanning appointments. As long as we keep moving and don't stop too long in a store or to talk to a friend, I am ok. My tremors do increase the minute we leave the house. However, if we don't keep moving, I have an anxiety attack and need to get home NOW!

Besides the crazy tremors, I have been having more supraventricular tachycardia episodes. My heart speeds up dramatically causing nausea, profuse sweating, faintness, and my kidneys go into overdrive. I had episodes of this crap before a serious one caused me to call the school office. The principle drove me to the ER and after some grueling amount of time (and the crowd of medical students watching me) the doctors finally came up with the right med to get my heart back to normal.

I carry a baggie of the med wherever I go. Two or three little pills and the episodes end in less than an hour. I don't know why, but I had an episode within a half hour of waking up this morning. That has never happened.

Oh, yes, the attacks occur mostly when I am severely anxious or spontaneously. Go figure.

Some days it is really tough to live with bipolar II and have multiply physical outbursts. I actually get a slight "kick" out of the tremors. The constant tremors in my hands do make life interesting. As I've said before, eating soup or cereal is quite the challenge. It's a real bummer if I don't open a can of pop right away. You know, you should never shake a can of your favorite carbonated refreshment before opening it.

My excitement? You know, don't you?


Tuesday, April 10, 2007


It's 4 Twenty!!

Oh, no, Silly!

That's not some code word or reference to anything illegal --- it is the number of posts that I have written since the beginning of this blog on August 25, 2006.



Quick Hit

Perhaps the Democratic Majority in Congress should take a play out of the Shrub's Diplomacy Handbook. The Dems should refuse to meet, talk, or otherwise bargain with King George II over the funding of the Iraq War and setting a date certain as to when we should withdraw our troops and treasure.

Why should Mr. Bush and his administration be "rewarded because of their bad behavior"? Until this Syria-us despot restores Habeas Corpus, denounces spying on his countrymen, ends "legalized" brutality (TORTURE), restores civility within his government, and improves relations with his neighbors and the rest of the world -- no one, absolutely no one, in any high ranking Democratic position should hold talks with him.

Ok, maybe we could recruit one of the honorable Canadian provincial premiers or an English MP to do some back door talks. However, the Dems should refuse to ever meet with the Boy King and have any direct talks. You know, we don't reward bad behavior.


The System

At a news conference this morning, one of the Rutgers women's basketball players made a statement about "the journey" -- a subject I often communicate. I may not have the quote right so forgive me -- essentially she said that life "is not about where you came from, but where you are going". This philosophy sparked some thoughts that I have had recently.

In the small town of Port Huron, Michigan we learned from experience, our friends, and family that often to get a job it depended more on "who you know" rather than "who you are". Even my first job out of high school seemed tainted by the recommendation I received from a friend working for that employer. I didn't complain.

When I was hired by the local school district my qualifications were stellar. However, I know that the personnel director was very impressed with the fact that I had graduated from a private church affiliated university. There were at least 4 teachers already working for the school district who had attended our university. He also ruled in the factor that I was a product of Port Huron's school system. The fact that I was a man with early elementary training and a desire to teach Kindergarten was not over-looked.

I can't complain about the school district's choice to hire me. I served my community for 25 years. And, my desire to serve the needs of my students always outweighed the meager financial reward. I'm funny that way.

A few short years before my retirement, I was speaking with my principal about something or another and my working class background became a topic in that discussion. I was surprised and aggravated that she had thought or assumed that both of my parents were teachers. Mom finally earned her high school diploma at the age of 53. Dad went to work and war never finishing high school.

That principal's elitism bothers me to this day.

My parents prepared me for life; my church inspired me to love and serve others; my educational training equipped me to competently teach and serve my community; and some important God-given talents and creativity enabled me to have a satisfying successful career.

In my life it really was more of who knew me. My parents, Mrs. Collard, Mrs. Lake, Mr. Hager, Mr. Fox, Mrs. Beatty, Elder H. Thomas, Mr. Johnson, Sam, Tom Hamilton, and many other great people helped shape who I am today. I owe them my gratitude -- not someone serving the system.


First Freedom First

H/T to The Daily Dish


Government By And For The People

I've been paying attention to what some of our brightest politicians and former politicians have to say about the Bush Administration. We have witnessed one f%@k-up after another -- the Iraq War of Choice is the worst catastrophuck in American history. And, it is past time for real political and governmental reforms.

I am also mad as hell when I hear the Shrub and his faithful Bushies tell us that setting a date for the drawing down of troops from Iraq will "tie the hands of the commanders on the ground". It is the current "talking point" being used. It is a not so subtle way to say that we will be choosing to hurt the troops. Bullshit!

The Commander-In-Chief is more worried about what his commanders care about than what the American People want? Tell me, you see the disconnect. Shrub is the Commander-In-Chief! The commanders on the ground follow HIS orders. If the Congress says no more funding for the war, Bush must command the troops to come home.

And, about those wise public servants, they say that Bush has put loyalty before competence. That's for damn sure! Need we recite the list of loyal Bushie f$@k-ups?

We must demand that those whom we have elected "put the people before their political party". Just think about how the lofty goals that the politicians promise could be achieved!

Wake up, America! There is a better way!


As Stubborn as a Missouri Mule

It is past time for the Congress to take a 2" X 4" and whack His Highness.

Does the Bible-Thumper-In-Chief know where the phrase "read the writing on the wall" originated?

How about "it's right in front of your nose"? Or, "you're looking right at it"? And, the ever popular "what part of 'no' don't you understand?".

The American people and the Iraqi people want us out of Iraq.

Were we not told that we'll leave Iraq when we are asked to leave? Oh, right, we were also told that "as long as I am president we will stay in Iraq".

Well, Your Highness, wake the f@#k up!!

They want us out!


Monday, April 9, 2007

Making the Rounds on the Internets

H/T to Andrew Sullivan's "The Daily Dish".


Welcome to My Nightmare

I read through this post from Crooks and Liars this morning.

The Christianists have more influence than anyone imagined.

It is downright scary!


Ban Mondays #12

This commercial is allegedly banned in the puritan republic of the USA.

This is not an endorsement of any product and I have no financial interest blah, blah, blah......



Sunday, April 8, 2007

On the 3rd Day

Saint Jude, pray for the people in Orlando, Florida. Saint Jude, pray for our poor and hungry and allow us to assist Our Lord in helping those that have nothing. Saint Jude, pray for us that are lost...


You Just Can't Make This Shit Up

H/T to Andrew Sullivan's The Daily Dish.

The Associated Press has reported that Eric Montanez, 21, was arrested and charged with violating an Orlando, Florida city ordinance. The misdemeanor was for prohibited activity in a park.

The prohibited activity:

"...he was feeding homeless people in a public park."

Groups are ... "allowed to feed only 25 people, but undercover officers saw Montanez feed 30, police spokeswoman Barbara Jones said."

What kind of people and/or cities prohibit the feeding of the poor and hungry? Shame, shame on you, the people and the city of Orlando, Florida.

Matthew 25:35-40 - "'For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you took care of Me; I was in prison and you visited Me.' Then the righteous will answer Him, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You something to drink? When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or without clothes and clothe You? When did we see You sick, or in prison, and visit You?' And the King will answer them, 'I assure you: Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of Mine, you did for Me.''

Matthew 25:41-46 - "Then He will also say to those on the left, 'Depart from Me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the Devil and his angels! For I was hungry and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty and you gave Me nothing to drink; I was a stranger and you didn't take Me in; I was naked and you didn't clothe Me, sick and in prison and you didn't take care of Me'… Then He will answer them, 'I assure you: Whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for Me either.' And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."


Saturday, April 7, 2007

This is Love

Next week, Billy (a.k.a. Budd y Memo) and I will celebrate the 16th anniversary of moving into our condo together. At the end of June we will celebrate the 17th anniversary of our "relationship". A seventeen year relationship is rare in "our community" and even rarer, it seems, in the mainstream of American culture.

We have discovered that we both have lived with Bipolar II since our early childhoods. Memo's recent diagnosis helps to explain the many ups and downs that have occurred in our relationship. Our one consistent achievement is our enduring love.

May God continue to bless us.


Music Video of the Week


R Minus 19

The securing of necessary documents continues. Only two of our 5 member unit have yet to obtain alternate identity papers. Medical files and final medical clearances will soon be procured.

Our travel route and transportation plans have been determined.

The distribution of assets has been slower than expected. The timetable will not be affected. The countdown continues and we have a green light.

More updates to follow...


Friday, April 6, 2007

Never Forget

... a scarecrow wrapped in wire ...



One of the prescriptions for a healthy life is sleep. As a person living with Bipolar Depression I have discovered that a truly restful sleep helps to stabilize my mood. Conquering insomnia is an essential task in checking the madness of merciless mania.

When I wake and remember my dreams I know that I am achieving better health. When I wake with hardened desires I know that the potential for a satisfying day may be mastered. A sleepless night constrains the pleasures and inhibits the bursts of energy that we all need.

Medication is more effective for me than meditation. The psychiatric cocktail that induces a sustained sleep is an essential part of my ability to live with my dis-ease. Insomnia must end.



Mass Madness

H/T to Atrios.......


Your Moment of Zen

Thursday, April 5, 2007


It is official.

I am no longer a card carrying Democrat. Both my memberships in the national and state parties have lapsed. And, I continue to toss away the "reminder" letters.

I am disappointed with the leaders and some of the elected "politicians" in the MDP and the DNC. Where are the heroes in the Democratic Party? My heroes have backbones. My heroes care more for the people than being elected and/or re-elected. My heroes serve the interests of the electorate and not those of corporations and the old megalomaniacal white farts that demand favors for their monies..

Will I continue to support progressive and liberal causes? Yes. Will I send money to aid a Democratic candidate for local, state, and/or national elections? Yes. Will I continue to vote? You bet your ass I will.

I am tired of the spin, the lies, and the obfuscation. And, I fear that the Democratic Party will blow the opportunities for greatness and real political reform. F@#k the pork projects, the earmarks, the bribes for votes, and anyone that seeks glory for themselves.

Serve the poor, the disenfranchised, the sick, the elderly, the veterans, and our military. Serve without any thoughts of reward or glory. Serve to secure world peace and international understanding.



New Ideas and Hope

Going Nowhere Fast


This morning as Budd was leaving for an appointment and other stops Ol' Buck had another loud outburst. The sound was louder than a gunshot and equally unnerving. This time a metal plate hit the ground, was retrieved, and now sits on the garage floor.

This 1992 Buick is giving me fits. Almost two weeks ago the 1st boom blew the catalytic converter out through what was left of the muffler. When the boys came over it boomed again as the engine was started. Ol' Buck was then taken to be repaired.

I really don't need this crap right now.

When I was employed I treated myself to leased vehicles. I did not want the headache of having repair after repair interrupting my busy life. A new truck, sedan, van, or Jeep kept for 2 - 4 years was an indulgence but, I never had to run to a repair shop (except for those damn accidents that left me with chronic pain for nearly 10 years).

The '92 Buick was gifted to me by my sister and brothers following Dad's death last year. Dad had very few problems with it. My last leased truck was turned in following the memorial service. I needed transportation since my cut in real income was substantial. Retirement does that.........

With only a few weeks left before our escape from this rat race we still need transportation. Ol' Buck will be gifted to my sister and I hope that between the boys and their dad they can get the car back into shape. Right now, we either attempt another repair or pray to the gods of GM that Buck will keep us safely on the road until the rental takes us on our long journey.

Saint Jude, the Buick may not be a lost cause however, please bless me with the sanity to get through this latest bump in the road.


Uncle Sam Thursdays #8

Wednesday, April 4, 2007

Michigan's Legislature Hall of Shame

The newest members of "Michigan's Legislature Hall of Shame" are Jack Hoogendyk and John Moolenaar.

According to Jack Lessenberry's metrotimes article:

Hoogendyk and Moolenaar, you see, are bigots who are supporting the agenda of hate fostered by homophobes everywhere. They would deny this, but they would be lying. Currently, there is a badly needed anti-bullying bill before the Michigan Legislature (House Bill 4162) which would, among other things, protect students from bullying "based on a pupil's actual or perceived religion, race, color, national origin, age, sex, sexual orientation, disability, height, weight, gender identity, socioeconomic status or any other distinguishing characteristic."


Anyone with the IQ of even an average legislator should be able to understand that bullying is not only barbaric and unfair, but also highly destructive to society's interests; it affects productivity and costs the taxpayers money.

But for some so-called "conservatives," the need to hate gays and discriminate against them is greater than anything else, even their sacred tax cuts. That includes Moolenaar and Hoogendyk, who are fighting to remove any language protecting gay students from bullying. One of their butt buddies is a Royal Oak realtor named David Conselyea, whom you should remember to boycott. Recently he wrote a clever but hate-filled e-mail to state Rep. Marie Donigan (D- Royal Oak), pleading with her to support the Dutch Bigot Twins and "remove the language segregating students into special 'protected classes.'"

Conselyea is especially upset at the thought of protecting "homosexual behavior that itself threatens teenagers' health and safety."

No, he would apparently rather have people beaten to death than do anything that might appear to protect in any way, he says again, "homosexual behavior that threatens student health."

What more is there to say? Jerks.


Gingrich's Apology

..... it sure is hard to explain and/or defend the "ghetto" comment.........


If Everyone Cared

"If Everyone Cared" by Nickelback (H/T to Weird Cake)

From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you’d be mine
But here we are, we’re here tonight

Singing Amen, I’m alive
Singing Amen, I’m alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We’d see the day when nobody died
And I’m singing

Amen I, I’m alive
Amen I, I’m alive

And in the air the fireflies
Our only light in paradise
We’ll show the world they were wrong
And teach them all to sing along

Singing Amen I’m alive
Singing Amen I’m alive

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We’d see the day when nobody died
If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We’d see the day when nobody died

And as we lie beneath the stars
We realize how small we are
If they could love like you and me
Imagine what the world could be

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
We’d see the day when nobody died

We’d see the day, we’d see the day
When nobody died
We’d see the day, we’d see the day
When nobody died
We’d see the day when nobody died


Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Redneck Squawking

From the "I can't believe he said that!" files -- Newt Gingrich panders to the Conservative Right!!!

Is he really considering a run for the White House in 2008?

What an ASS.


You Just Can't Make This Shit Up

I was never bullied in school. Having 3 older brothers and being tall with a football player's build helped as well.

The Michigan House of Representatives recently passed an anti-bulling Bill that awaits Michigan's Senate approval. The folks supporting the Bill are quite happy. The conservatives in the Michigan Legislature are just plain nucking fluts.


Conservatives opposed the legislation because it would specifically protect students who are being bullied because of their sexual orientation — in addition to race, height, weight, religion, ancestry, national origin, sex and other characteristics.

Gary Glenn, president of the American Family Association of Michigan, said the bill would create for the first time in state law a protection based on homosexual behavior.

"Homosexual activists are using legitimate concern for student safety as a Trojan Horse to sneak their special rights agenda into law," he said.

.... malicious pricks.


Better Living Through Chemistry

night sweats –noun Pathology. heavy sweating during sleep, esp. as a symptom of certain diseases, as tuberculosis.

loss of balance2 [ˈbӕləns] noun
a state of physical steadiness
Example: The child was walking along the wall when he lost his balance and fell.

  1. An involuntary shaking or trembling of the head or extremities that can be idiopathic or associated with any of various medical conditions, such as Parkinson's disease.

R Minus 23 -- Countdown Resumed

New HQ has been identified and acquired. Immunizations are nearly complete. New identity documents continue to be processed. Other preparations are continuing....


Monday, April 2, 2007

Ban Mondays #11


The following is a French commercial that we will never see in our Republic.

I have no financial interest in the product nor am I paid to blah blah blah............


Sunday, April 1, 2007

Just Another Sleepless Night


<psychiatry> An abnormality of mood resembling mania (persistent elevated or expansive mood, hyperactivity, inflated self esteem, etc.) but of lesser intensity.

Origin: Gr. Mania = madness


Inability to sleep, abnormal wakefulness.

Origin: L. Somnus = sleep

From the Online Medical Dictionary