I was often accused of doing "The Low Crawl" when people knocked at my door. I always tried the old and over-used excuse that some friends came over and we left for dinner in their car. My brother knew that I was really doing the low crawl after I stated, "Is there a law that says I have to answer my phone or answer my door. Besides, people should call ahead before considering dropping over."
Yes, I did the low crawl. I didn't want to see anyone. I was usually unshaved and hadn't showered for a few days. I didn't want to leave the house because of the anxiety and the too often panic episodes. When I told Memo that we HAD to go home WE HAD to get home. I didn't want to go out in public. And, I often hid to avoid family and friends.
That was then.
I don't like crowded bars or restaurants. I still panic on crowded streets. But, I do answer the phone and I greet our friends as they come through the cast iron gate. I greet people on the street.
I have changed.
Okay, I've been cycling lately. I hope it's only the result of stopping Lamictal "cold turkey" due to a delay in getting it delivered to the "Farmacia". My Cymbalta was a couple days late in coming, too. Now I have every med, fish oil, vitamins, and an herbal pain reliever --- the chemical giant was right --- there is a better living through chemistry.
Men At Work's song "Who Can It Be Now" describes the old Lee.