Monday, November 5, 2007

Another Sunny Day

We have another sunny day in Paradise.

Yeah, right.

A fellow blogger with Bipolar Disorder wrote:

"I am SO damned sick of fighting this disorder.

My medication dosage is not high enough to handle my symptoms, but if I go higher, I impact my ability to function at work. And I'm absolutely terrified of losing my income source, or of having it cut significantly.

Because of some personal stuff I went from hypomanic to depressed in a day. I know that can happen to anyone, but I can't concentrate...."

Well, slap me and call me Sally -- My day is f*#ked up, too. I have been enjoying a depression free couple of weeks. I have only had some minor problems sleeping due to my mild hypomania. So, for the most part I have been zooming near the top of the bipolar roller coaster and hadn't been thrown from the ride.

My coaster car just struck bottom. Now, I am afraid of rapid cycling from THIS depression to hypomania and back to depression, again and again. There is no "winning". A major stressor and wham! All of the things I might ordinarily do are seemingly put on hold while I fight just to shower and leave the house right now....


And, I'm at the bottom of the ride. I NEED to take care of some "business" and I am stuck. I just want to curl up into a ball and sleep... I have so much to do and I am stuck. For the first time in a very long time I just want off the damn ride...

There are no "magic" pills to take. I just have to "ride it out".

Tomorrow will be a sunny day, too. I'm in Paradise. I shouldn't have a care in the world.....

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