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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

I Tried

I've heard the "Amercan Dream" defined as desiring to make more money and have a "better" life than one's parents. That definition is so very narrow and limited. It focuses on upward mobile economic factors. The American Dream is more than social climbing and money.

We dream of inventing that one idea, the one little gadget or "pet rock" that will make us rich and famous. We dream of travel and adventure. We dream of comfort in our retirement years. We dream of success. We dream.

More. More. More. Better. Better. Better.

Do I still dream? No.

I am where am I. I have a post graduate education. I've traveled. I've been a union leader. Sometime in my early teaching career I was making more money than my Dad. My pension check is much larger than Dad's last paycheck.... I haven't invented anything, written anything special, or been "discovered" to have exceptional talents....

I stopped dreaming during the 10 plus years of chronic pain. My life was over. My career was ended. I was more concerned about obtaining a full pension and avoiding a disability pension... I wanted to reach retirement on my terms...

Over the last few years I have been living from paycheck to paycheck and crisis to crisis. My bipolar disorder can help to explain some of my poor choices and other problems. I really could not afford to retire when I did.....but the pain... I tried and failed...

Here I am. What more do I need?

...a dream.

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